Soul Despair

For once in my life, I am not reacting to what I am seeing on the news or the internet. I can’t. I just cannot get my head around this much hate in the world. It is making me physically ill.

When I learned Thursday that Rush Limbaugh died, I was saddened. He was someone who tried, and tried, and tried, to reach people. He did profit from his abilities, and I think that’s a good thing. There are so many talented people, who, for one reason or another, do not. Their talent remains hidden, out of view and that saddens me.

When I was 8 or 9, I read a book by John Fitzgerald Kennedy entitled “Profiles in Courage,” in which he discussed the great people of our times. He famously said, somewhere, if not there, that only mediocre people are not hated or loved. A hook back to Ayn Rand and Atlas Shugged, I think.

Rush was much loved by those who listened to him daily, by his family, his friends and people who never got close to him, but yet respected him and enjoyed him. He was also much hated.

I began to hear the horrible, nasty and disgusting things said by people who have a little bit of power now, said. They were just unbelievable. Since when do we disparage a person, no matter how much we disagree with him, at the moment of his death? How can they do this, not to him because Rush Limbaugh would laugh in great roars at their antics, but to his family? How can you celebrate the death of another human soul, no matter how obnoxious you are?

I have felt this complete disbelief for over 4 years now. When Donald Trump triumphed over Hillary Clinton, I listened to the roar of not super highly intelligent beings, beating their chests and weeping, calling him names, insisting that he is evil, a white supremacist, a woman hater …………. you know, the list of supposed wrongs.

I lived with it for 4 years, until this next election, the one where the left installed a poor, totally demented Parkinson’s patient in the office of president, where he is incapable of handling even the simplest of tasks. Who does the left think is running the country? Or do they know? It isn’t Joe Biden. That is obvious.

The hate of the left for us conservatives is a palpable thing now. I see it as a nasty, dark, blood-filled cloud hanging over all of us. I don’t mind that the left hate me. That’s fine. I actually pride myself on not being POPULAR. I lost my need for popularity in high school. I am who I am and I like who I am. I can’t think that these ungodly people who relish the death of someone totally unknown to them, like themselves. I think that might be their secret. 

The hate they spread on all of us, excuse me, normal people, you know, people who love their families, the place they live, their community, is actually an inner hate. A hate for themselves because they are not the newest flavor of the month. Have you noticed how the Puerto Rican bartender from New York manages to get herself in the news every day, if not every hour? And how does that keep happening? I don’t think she cares that 90% of the time they are making fun of her. She has become the poster child for ignorant 30 somethings.

I’m afraid that this hate will continue until it totally consumes this country. My husband and I grew up in the 50s and 60s. He is younger than me by 4 years. I spent more time in the 50s than he did and he wishes he had had more of those years. He keeps telling me that the 50s is what he misses about our country most of all. I agree with him.

I grew up in a small midwestern college town, among people of my own economic station. Neither of my parents graduated from high school, because of The Great Depression. My father was sent to live with his grandmother in southern Indiana in 1929. My mother was born in October of 1929 so her experience of The Great Depression was life-long up until it finally eased a bit. But they never had enough money so they didn’t need to worry. They always had to scrimp and save. 

My parents were both FDR democrats because he saved them. He did make it possible for people to eat in the 30s and 40s. Without him, without the old age pension and the work projects, I’m not sure how anyone could have survived. What the current corporation-hating crowd doesn’t see or refuses to acknowledge, is that if the rich people lose everything, there is no one to pay for the poor among us. We need rich people.

My mother, in particular, did not have a good thing to say about anyone who had money. She once complained to me that the first Gulf War was all about oil and that President Bush did that for his oil baron friends. I said, Mom! I use oil, you know. You use oil. We need oil. I doubt that sunk in. It was more her style to dislike people because of what they had, not who they were.

And so here we are today, in a world where hate is everything and common decency does not exist, except in my small corner of America, where life is slow and people are honorable. 

I worry about the souls of people who need to hate in order to feel alive. I hope this changes. Soon. Namaste, Jennifer

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